testing.. 1 2 3


I want to post a video. I've never posted a video here before but I can't seem to get the knack of it. How do I get these video boxes bigger? (sigh)

Anyhoo, the Eheads are back! (woot woot) This has been my jam for several days now next to Lakambini by Ebe. I've been listening to it over and over again.  ^____^






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conversations: RGs


Remember my conversations: kids' segment? I thought I should do one on RGs. ^__^


At Project X.

Roro on possibly falling in love with a fellow RG member.

Roro: Daw lain na gid ya Mi. Daw tuod-tuod na gid ni ya. Daw palangga ko na sya.

Ami: (sips Coke) Uhuh. (sips Coke some more)

Roro: Feeling mo may pag-asa man ko?

Ami: (sips Coke) Wala. (sips Coke some more)

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In front of the old Capitol during a picket (?).

Fia on being single... still.

Fia: Am I not pretty?

Ami: Of course you are.

Fia: Am I not smart?

Ami: Of course you are.

Fia: Then why am I still single? I'm like a tree! Am I like a tree?

Ami: (smirk) Of course you are!

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After an ED session at rm9.

Ak looking at himself in the mirror (near the restrooms).

Ak: Mi, hambal kuno nila I'm not that good looking pero charming ako.

Looks at himself in the mirror some more.

Ak: Sa imo bi Mi? Tsakto man sila? Charming gid man ako?

Ami: Huod ah! Basta ikaw! Lakas ka daan sa akon!


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During an ED session. Reb Jan was teasing Kalay.

Kalay to Reb Jan: Hambal ka lang bala kung naluyag ka sa akon. Pa sunlog-sunlog ka pa!


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During practice. At Kalay's house.

Kalay: Op! Dali lang, dali lang. Timeperse anay. Break anay.

Someone (can't remember who; either Mekz or Red): Nga-a haw? Ano to? Ano tabo?

Kalay: Meteor Garden na! Malantaw ko anay kay Dao Ming Su!

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After review. Preparing for UPCAT.

Ami: I don't think I can pass.

Fia: Why not?

Ami: I'm not as smart as you guys.

Fia: Smart ka Mi ah. When I tell a joke, you laugh right away. Ma gets mo dayun. Ang iban kinanlan ko pa explainan.

Ami: True. Maka pasar ko ni.


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At "summer camp" with Fia.

I was crying because I just broke up with Kent.

Fia: Stop crying na. There are more important things to think about. Like.. poop. Or maggots in poop.


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At Mekz' house. We were all drunk.

Roro was brokenhearted (?). Girl from CSJ. Will not name names.

Roro: Mi, sakit sakit gid mo! Sakit sakit gid ya!

Ami: (trying to stop myself from puking- due to the alcohol not Roro's lovesick litany)

Roro: (continues to wail about his heart hurting)


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I miss you guys! Maybe broody lang ko but I miss you guys so so so much! Sending love sa inyu tanan! xx




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on heartbreaks and moving on

When Kent and I broke up, I went through the usual typical "brokenhearted" process.

First, I got mad. I got really really angry. How dare he break my heart just like that? How dare he toss me aside like I'm some piece of garbage? How fucking dare he? I would flood txt him saying, "I hate you. I hate you." over and over again. Petty, I know but I was young and didn't know any better.

Then I got sad. I felt empty and alone. I felt like the loneliness was eating me up, it was drowning me. I would cry myself to sleep every single night. I would cry every time I listen to music. Which is funny because at that time I usually listen to NU107. So, imagine me bawling my eyes out while listening to, Hey megalomaniac, You're no Jesus, Yeah you're no fucking Elvis. I mean, what the fuck Mi? But I did that. I cried and cried and cried.

And then, I became desperate. I would contact him and I would say sorry. That it was all my fault. That I wanted us to get back together. (looooong sigh) I wish now that I hadn't done that. I wish I had more dignity but alas that's what I did.

Until finally, I started to move on. Truly move on. Until one day I realized being with Kent isn't that important anymore and that I didn't feel alone anymore. Then slowly, I started to feel happy again. 

After that I felt like I had it made. I survived. No break-up can cripple me again. I know now what to do and what not to do if I ever have a failed relationship again. I felt like I have mastered the art of breaking up and moving on. Oh yeah, I'm da bomb!

BUT when H told me he wasn't coming back, I've never felt more lost. I was dumbfounded. I couldn't wrap my head around what happened. I couldn't accept it. I didn't want to accept it. 

So here I am, after 10 years and one beautiful son, brokenhearted once more. Still as lost, as sad, as empty, as alone, as desperate like the first time it happened. I never had it made and I never mastered anything. 


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10 books FB challenge

I wasn't tagged. Huhuhu.. :(  Serves me right though for not being an avid Facebooker (?).

Anyway, the rules are simple, post 10 books that have stayed with you through the years and/or have affected you in some way. You shouldn't think about it too long and the list of books doesn't have to be "right" or great works of literature. Then you get to tag other people to do the same. I'm doing mine in blogger so I can't really tag anyone.

Anyhoo, here's my list and the reasons why.


1. A Child Called It by Dave Pelzer

Accounts of a boy abused by his mother. I read it when I was 6 or 7 months pregnant with Tuka which was a horrible horrible idea. I was bored one night, saw the book lying in the living room, picked it up and started reading. I finished it in one sitting. I cried the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME. No exaggeration. The hormones didn't help. Hehehe..


2.  The Client by John Grisham

1st novel I've ever read. I was in 3rd grade and it took me a month to finish it. I had to regularly check words in the dictionary and had to talk to some grown-ups about law in order to fully understand the book. I remember feeling that it was a huge accomplishment that I was able to finish and understand the book. :)


3. Laro sa Baga by Edgardo Reyes

1st Filipino novel I've ever read. I was in 6th grade. Not a good choice looking back at it now. It was hard for me to understand and harder still to appreciate. I was too young. I haven't been in love, no sexual experience, no interest at all with the opposite sex. But it was an eye opener. It introduced me to Filipino literature (aside from those discussed in school) and introduced me to a world I had no idea or knowledge about. It was a learning experience.

Note: If any readers want to try reading Filipino lit, try the works of Lualhati Bautista, Prof. Jose Maria Sison and Jose F. Lacaba. Better than the one mentioned above. Haha!  :)


4. Nancy Drew Series

Of course! I was young once. I was addicted to this series. I read every single one from IBAM (International Books and Magazines Club). I used to blow my school money on Nancy Drew. It was light, it was enjoyable, Nancy was kick ass awesome and it's a perfect way to relax after a hellish day from school.


5. The Bridges of Madison County by Robert James Waller

This book is connected to a confession made by a family member. And that's all I'm willing to say.


6. The Young Idiana Jones Chronicles

My mom bought me these. It made me want to travel. Made me want to see the world and have adventures. Made me interested in archaeology. I wanted to dig up really really old people and study them. Nyahahaha!


7. The Stories of Eva Luna by Isabel Allende

A compilation of short stories told by Eva Luna. Beautifully written. I remember thinking that the words Allende used to make these stories were perfect. Like the words belonged there. It was meant to be there. I didn't even feel that way while reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez.


8. Philippine Society and Revolution - Amado Guerrero 

It felt like a light bulb was turned on. Suddenly, many things made sense. I understood what must be done and why it must be done. Cheka! But true.


9. The Color Purple by Alice Walker

The way it was written was different and it was a first for me. It was empowering and the book had a happy ending. I'm a sucker for those.


10. Colours by Jan Pienkowski

Tuka's 1st ever favorite book. This was the book that made Tuka interested in 'reading'. He would take this book from our shelf  (lowest shelf is for Tuka) and give it to me so we could read it. Every single day for about 2 months. I owe Pienkowski big time.

Note: Unfortunately, Tuka has already moved on. His current fave is The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle.


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So there you have it. Most of them can't really be considered great works but these are the ones that have sentimental value for me. A personal connection.

Political books are important but I have to be honest these books are also hard to grasp. You have to study them, sometimes over and over again until you get a headache. Sometimes it would take years to fully understand a particular book. So only one got included in my list. Thumbs up for Joma. Haha!

Anyhoo, whatchathink? xx







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LET IT BE SEPTEMBER

The 'BER' season is here! Hoorah once again!

If you read Joy the Baker, then you might find that today's entry title is a bit familiar. I don't usually read her 'let it be' entries since it doesn't involve a lot of cooking or a lot of pictures of yummy treats but I like the idea and for today I'm gonna borrow it.

I'm not sure if we have the same 'feels' for the 'let it be' entry but I'll try to explain mine to make this entry a bit clearer.

This month is full of change for me and I know most people say that change is usually for the better and I am hoping they're right. Nonetheless, change is scary and for my part it hurts - a lot. But the change is going to happen whether I like it or not, and so, for this month I am going to let time and change run its course. I'm gonna let things happen organically (for lack of a better term) and I'm gonna let things be.

I will be turning 26 and although I'm not really in a partying mood I am embracing my birthday with open arms as I always have and always will in many years to come. To a wiser, prettier and sexier (as I've said no humble brags here) me - TAGAY SA TAGUMAY! ^__^

Tuka will be turning a year and a half this month and I am already thinking up plans for his 2nd birthday. Hahaha!  ^__^  He's growing up so fast and I realize I don't want to rush parenting anymore. If he still wants to hold my hand while walking, I let him. If he still wants to sit on my lap while watching television, I let him. I have decided to take parenting in a slower, much more enjoyable pace. To parenting that continues to evolve and improve - TAGAY SA TAGUMPAY! Hehehe..

I will be going back to work as well and I am entertaining the idea of working abroad. Partly for Tuka, financial stability is a must now that I have a son to think of. Partly for me, I need to find myself again, to re-learn how to do things on my own and to simply 'get out there'.

For others who might be going through some changes as well, here's to us! May September be kind to our ongoing transition.. xx

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