Thank you, but NO thank you.
My latest Instagram post unfortunately has resulted into a few unsolicited advice so I thought a blog post would be the best way to approach it. Number 1, because well I get to update my blog. Haha! Number 2, it can cover everyone's unsolicited advice and number 3, I avoid a direct confrontation that might turn ugly. Although, I did respond to some directly and did my best to be polite about it. This post however might be a bit brash because well.. that is what I really feel about the advises.
Each and every one of us is going through some shit one way or another and it goes double sometimes triple for moms. Because while going through shit, you are responsible for one whole being. Their psychological, emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and moral upbringing is all on you (well, until they turn 18 at least). Imagine shouldering all of that while going through the daily motions of life. And for other moms, they have 2 or 3 or 4 or more kids!
Long story short, being a mom is hard work and it can be very difficult, some days more difficult than others. Those are the days that no matter what you do, you couldn't win. Then you end up frustrated and angry and frustrated and angry and.. you know what I mean. Some of us (moms) we snap and we sometimes do things that aren't exactly the best way to handle things. I've seen it. At school, in a jeepney, neighbor's house, a grocery store, Jollibee (joskoh!), a shopping mall, a toy store (joskoh part 2!) and many more. Maybe there are others who NEVER snap, I don't know.. are you guys human?! Hehehe.. What drugs are you guzzling? ^_^
Despite the countless meltdowns of children that I have witnessed (you get more aware of other kids if you become a parent), I have never ever judged a fellow mom or made assumptions. And I have NEVER ever gave unsolicited advice on how she should handle or talk to or discipline her child/children. Because despite all the good intentions, that can be very damaging to a fellow mother. It is hurtful because to correct me implies that I am doing something wrong with my parenting. To give unsolicited advice implies that you think what I am doing is not enough or not good enough. I always feel horrible if a fellow mom (especially my own mom) do this to me. I would always feel insecure, scared and feel inadequate as a Nanay. Which of course makes me, ironically, an inefficient mom.
Because a sad, insecure mom cannot be a good mom. So by giving unsolicited advice you're actually just making things worse for me and for my child/ren.
Also, what you see in my post is nothing but a glimpse. A GLIMPSE! You guys weren't there when I comforted my son while he was grieving for the loss of his dad (he isn't dead but he is gone), you weren't there when I read to him bedtime stories or when we have tickle fights. You guys weren't there when I cooked him spaghetti or when I stayed up all night checking up on him when he was sick. You guys didn't see how I hugged him when he fell down and scraped his knee nor were you there when I cheered him on during school activities. I could go on and on because truly, the whole picture is so so so MUCH BIGGER and so much brighter. :)
This doesn't mean that I don't ask for advice. I do. ALL THE TIME. I ask his pediatrician, dentist, his teachers, fellow moms in school, my own mom and aunts and our very own therapist who I might add is a specialist on child psychiatry. So I am covered, thank you very much. Hahaha!
So, please please please. Try not to send me any more unsolicited advice in the future. It comes off as a little condescending really. I don't like it and I don't want it. And next time you do, I am not going to be nice or polite anymore. My cuss word vocabulary is quite extensive, I will be using that in full capacity. (wink, wink)
So to everyone that PMed me: Thank you, but NO thank you.
