jeepney etiquette

My mom and dad don’t own a car so I grew up riding jeepneys. I never liked riding taxis, not only are they expensive but they also make me nauseous. I used to dread travelling with high school friends because they always insist on using taxis for transportation. Now, my family dreads going grocery shopping with me because no matter how many bags I have, I insist on using jeepneys and it can be quite a struggle especially during rush hour. Hehehe...  :)

After 23 years of riding jeepneys in Iloilo, I have experienced many ups and downs, met different kinds of people and encountered quite a few fights. So, for today I have made up a list which I will call "jeepney etiquette" that I hope will help people's attitude the next time they go on a jeepney ride. ;)

1. TIE YOUR HAIR OR HOLD IT -- For those who have long, sometimes beautiful, sometimes not, sometimes treated, sometimes not hair please please please be more considerate to the people sitting behind you. I am sure eating hair is not a great past time for them while riding the jeepney. I know that treated hair can't be tied so try to hold on to them and if you were reprimanded try not to be a bitch about it, it's not our fault we're not hair-bivores. (get it? haha! lame. sigh!)

2. HIDE THE CROTCH PLEASE -- I do not understand men who open their legs as wide as possible in jeepneys especially during rush hour. The jeep is already crowded please make some room! Is there anything wrong with your ass? your balls? your penis? If not, close your damn legs! If yes, well... no comment.

3. HELPING HANDS ARE GOOD -- When you ride a jeepney, you pay by handing out your money to passengers in the front until it reaches the driver. If you don't like touching other people's hands or touching dirty money - buy a car. I do not like people who ignore you when you're practically screaming: "Palihog BAYAD!” I do not care if you think you're too hot for your own good, take the goddamn money and give it to the driver!

4. PAY UP -- My dad worked with the transport sector for a long time so I have met many Iloilo drivers and their families. I have seen how difficult it is for them to make ends meet so please pay the driver and pay them correctly. For student-looking passengers who are not students, do not abuse the student discount. For policemen and traffic aides, the privilege that you can have free rides has long been taken down so pay up. For people who think Php0.50 doesn't matter, think again. And to all other freeloaders - have a heart! (nakz)

5. MAKE SOME ROOM -- Women who wear skirts, especially pencil skirts, sit in a slanting (?) style, this for me is okay, and I do this too, as long as the jeepney is not crowded. However, when it is crowded, try to sit in a straight position. I know it might be difficult but just because you wear a skirt doesn't mean you get special privileges. When new passengers board the jeep, try to scoot over and make some room. I know the song in your iPod must be really nice but try not to be so oblivious about your surroundings.

6. PLAY NICE -- I have seen lots of fights inside the jeepney. Some of them I actually participated in. Haha! But I choose my fights and I usually get into one if the other person did something really wrong, like hurt my sister by sitting on her lap because he or she is busy texting. Others however get into petty fights especially the women. Cat fights are entertaining but all the same, they are petty. Riding the jeep is not a competition so let us all play nice and enjoy the hot, humid and polluted air brought to you by the Philippines. Ahhhhh...

7. SPEAK UP -- When you arrive at your destination and you need to get off the jeep you have to say: "Sa lugar." or "Para po.” This is the proper way to inform the driver that you need the jeep to stop. Whistling or making kissing sounds (tsup tsup) are not appropriate. And if you are not a jeepney conductor, stop banging at the railings like a madman with your 1-peso coin. 

When you say "Sa lugar." or "Para po.” say so in a loud (enough) and clear voice. Don't whisper it and then grumble later on that the driver did not stop right away. Also, please consider the loading and unloading stops; don't blame the driver if he has to stop several meters away from the hospital when you have a broken leg. Blame the government; these after all are their policies. 

8. PUKE FIRST, RIDE LATER -- If you are drunk, riding a jeep might cause you to become more nauseous, so please be considerate enough to vomit first before riding a jeep. Having a vomit facial, in the middle of the night, after a long day's work, in a moving jeepney is not a pleasant experience. Trust me, I know.  

9. LEAVE PERVERTED MOTIVES BEHIND -- There are some people who see crowded jeepneys as an opportunity to touch things they shouldn't touch. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment even if you're in a moving vehicle. So unless you want to get arrested, hands in proper places please. Also, refrain from ogling. It is rude.

10. MANONG DRIVER -- The last one is addressed to the driver. Please don't sulk if a passenger asks for the exact/proper change. Chances are these types of people pay exact/proper amounts to jeepney drivers so don't piss them off. Music is fine, blaring them however to the point that you can't hear your passengers is unethical. When the jeep is full, it's full. Stop hording passengers like there's no tomorrow. And lastly, stop being such a grouch so early in the morning; you're ruining our sunny, happy jeepney joyride.

So there you are 10 steps to a happier, more relaxing, more productive jeepney experience. If you have anything to add, leave me some comments! ^_^